Episode 5: Belly-button butt drop (the lie episode)

This week's topic: Crazy lies

Cori and Laura untangle a web of lies that have been woven throughout history... or at least a few of them. They discuss the lies people tell their kids and the lies they tell to succeed. Listen in - it'll be a good time (or are we lying?)

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Transcript

00:01
Welcome back to another episode of My Crazy Friend. I'm Cori. And I'm Laura. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. So I'm excited about today's episode. Me too. Me too. But before we...

00:18
Yeah, before we dive into the episode, I think there's, you know, some stuff we wanted to talk about. Wasn't there a story that maybe a friend of ours told you that cracked me up? Yeah, so a friend of ours' stuff, right, as we were getting ready to start recording and on her way home. Shout out to Niki! Niki!

00:37
And on the way out, she goes, well, I have some crazy information I just learned. Right. We're like, well, that's on point. Please tell. Yeah. And she goes. Laura got out her notepad. I did. I had a little notepad. To take notes because she's very professional. Super. With a little hot pink. We got her pink hot pink sticky pad. But yeah, please, please tell us. Tell us. Okay, so. My friend said it was so funny. If you get semen in your eye, which you know, it tries to implant itself, your eye is made of a similar material as, I guess, your woman's egg. Egg. Yeah. So the semen thinks it's an egg. And for a hot second,

01:07
trying to implant itself into your eyeball. You know what I think is more hilarious? That people tell us stuff like this now because of our episodes about assholes in lips being the same and the inside of your cheek being the same as your vagina. I mean, there's gotta be many more of these. So yes, be careful. Apparently your body is just a handful of different things just implanted all over your body. Putting different places. Yeah, so ladies, shut your eyes. I said I was kidding because I was like.

01:34
I'm gonna wear sunglasses next time. I think that's safe. I gotta be safe. And then she was like, she's gonna wear goggles. You gotta put some goggles on. You gotta protect your hair. I mean, you're protecting your eyes. Protect your hair. Just gotta get on there.

01:56
Is that I think that our significant others would run away if we showed up. I don't know. I think it's hot. Oh my God. Yeah, just maybe a plastic.

02:06
Covering I don't know. Well, see so funny, but goggles for sure. Yeah. Yeah, you have used you have snow goggles Yes, I think that's necessary Goggles, no, it's not you know, I've got to be safe. You have to be safe. It all costs If you so else so important so important. Oh, so yeah that made my day today I needed that so much this morning has been just ridiculously hilarious. Yeah. Yeah one thing after another, huh? Yeah

02:32
So one thing I did want to clear up from last episode. Yeah. I think I mentioned, you know, that seeing what I think was two to three dozen deer. Oh, I think it's a three to four dozen deer. Because I remember thinking like, oh, wow, nearly 50 deer on your way home. That's a shit ton of deer. So that was a lie. No, no, no. I had to the math. And one thing you all will know if you listen to this podcast is I'm not a math person. No way.

02:59
So that's a calculator to four. So anyway, so I realized that's like 48 deer. And that's too many. That's too many. That's a few dozen, too many that I see on my way home. So like maybe like a family of six to 12 and then maybe one other family of six to 12.

03:23
is more in line with the tight amount of deer that I see. It's so many deer, so a lot of deer. Yeah. But I think I was exaggerating. A hare. A hare. Yeah, we don't live on a deer sanctuary.

03:35
We're just in the woods. No, we're not in the woods. We're in a... I think you're digressing. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't want people to think we were like not in, you know, where society is. I gotcha. We can go to the store. Gotcha. You know. Just sounded very rural. I had trouble saying that as a child. Rural. Alright, I'm done. I'm done. I digressed enough. We should probably get into the episode. You think? Yeah.

04:05
All right, would you want to give everybody a heads up on what the episode is? Well, I mean, to tie into what I was just talking about. With the digression or your lies? I was gonna say, it was a good segment into... Segue? Segue, what did I say? Segment. Oh, oops. So it's a good segue. I mean, I knew what I wanted to say. It just didn't come out. So into our episode, which is, da da da da.

04:32
the lie episode. Crazy lies. Yeah, so I lied about the deer. You know, not, you know, it's just, you know, it's exaggeration. You lie about nearly everything. Shut your mouth, I don't lie. Whatever. I don't think I ever. Anyway. Just because I'm good at lying, doesn't mean that I'm always lying. Okay. Yeah, you know what the problem is, like, we were talking about this, like you only can laugh.

04:56
if it's funny. And that's it. Like, I can laugh at anything. I can make myself laugh. Your your fake laugh, I call it the lie laugh, sucks. So, yeah, you're just you're just. But you know what? You know, you've been in so many situations where, you know, someone just wants you to laugh at what they're saying. So I do. So I've mastered it. Well, good job. I don't know. Let's go to our episode. OK, the lot episode. Do you want to you want to start with your lies? Sure. So I listen to podcasts, you know,

05:26
else I listen to is called Calm Artist and this was one of their stories and this chick is like my hero. That's scary.

05:37
She's like the OG sugar baby. OK, she's I don't know. Like I may I may be building her up, but like you're going to you're going to love her. I'm taking like a two hour podcast. I'm going to condense it until like five minutes. Wow. So it's possible I'm going to miss some key parts. Well, I will say this. You know what? Everyone who, you know, just needs things in little. This is helpful to people. But if you want to know the whole story, Cliff notes of this show right now. Right. And you know what? I think the show was probably the Cliff's note version.

06:03
of her life. Sure. So you can just kind of build up from there. Start here and build up. So anyway, her name was John de St. Romay. Okay. John Jan. We're gonna call her Jan. Okay. Because of different accents. It was hard to say. But she's French. Or Jean. Yeah, maybe. Jan. Yeah. So she's French. Hmm.

06:27
Pretty sure. Yes, she lived in a champagna. It sounds. It's a small town. You may know it from such fine wines like champagne.

06:37
Okay, great. That's where they make it, right? Yeah. Yeah, so is it like tequila? If you have to get it from champ-pane, or it's not champagne? Yeah. Like tequila, it's not really tequila unless you get it from tequila? Tequila? Is that right? I don't think so. No. Anyway. What is it then? What is the alcohol? I don't know. There's an alcohol. Champagne. No, there's another one. I think you're digressing. Ugh. Okay. Are we gonna have to start over? No, just go. Okay. Are you sure? Yes. Okay. So, Jan was born poor. Okay.

07:07
I'm sorry for her. Yeah, I know it sucks. So she kind of like begged on the streets and then would tell people that she was of noble descent from like, you know, twice removed or whatever. So people would be like, oh, and give her money. And so she, she would meet people. So she met this monarch type nobility. So and then she before even saying a word, she passed out, like fainted. Oh, yeah.

07:34
and she beautiful yes she was pretty okay and then the i think yeah and the monarch was like oh my god is she okay so follow up with her and then she told people that she had a miscarriage and was bleeding so the monarch like set money so she would do these kinds of cons you know just lying every opportunity she had to like make buck.

07:54
So the richer the better for her to con. And so she met this one guy who was not getting along with the queen, who, queen being Marie Antoinette. Ooh, you may have heard of her. I have. I'm a little bit vicious.

08:08
I don't know. Or was she nice? I don't know. You know, I was in a play one time and we had Marie Antoinette and all I remember is let them eat cake. That's all I remember. Oh. I don't know. Well, okay. At any rate, the queen didn't like this person. Okay. And he was like, he had done something and he was like, wanted to get back into her good graces. And so this Jan was like, oh, that sucks. Bummer for you. Can you give me some money? And he was like, yeah, I wish I could help you out, but no, you know.

08:38
I'm not giving you any money. Smart, okay, good. So she continued to con people, or stealing things, ponding it, getting people to give her money. And eventually then, this is the part that I found just incredible, she decided to pretend to be Marie Antoinette, or no, she pretended to be friends with Marie Antoinette. So she sold all of her belongings to buy like one or two pieces of jewelry. And went back to this rich guy friend

09:08
had who wouldn't give her any money but wanted to be friends with the Queen and was like, oh look, the Queen overheard me talking and like became enthralled with me and now we're friends and she gave me this piece of jewelry and the guy was like, that's incredible, I can't believe it. So she kept doing things like that to make him believe that she was friends with the Queen. Meanwhile, she has like nothing. Right? Right. So she then... That's crazy. Right? Oh my gosh. Right?

09:35
Okay, so he was like, well, if you're friends with the queen, can you like, help me out, you know, help a brother out, get me back in her good graces, because whatever he did in the past, she was still pissy. And wow, so Jan had remembered that for me, it was three years after he had told her that she held on to that little nugget of information. This is like a long con for her. Wow, right. So she came back.

09:56
Ben is pretending, you know, I'm friends with the queen, sold all her shit, anyway. So then she's like, I don't know, let me think about it. Cause you know, this is a new relationship for me. I don't want to blow it by, you know, then try and act like I'm trying to use my relationship with the queen. She's dedicated, man. Right? Wow.

10:11
I knew you'd like her. So I don't know. No, she's cool. On the fence. I don't want to say cool. She's fine. Anyway, so then she goes and she's crazy, right? So she goes, all right, I will do you this favor because you've been a friend to me. I'll help you out. So then she tells and she's not talking to anybody. Right. Right. Wow. So she says, OK, the queen will entertain letters from you. Wow.

10:42
to the Queen. The Queen starts writing letters back. Wow! Because she gets a forger. So she gets a forger. What is the end game here? I'm getting there. Laura! I know. I know.

10:57
I didn't want to start with that, but I'm getting there. Okay, cool. Okay, so she gets a forger. This is gonna hate her. Anyway, go ahead, I'm sorry. Gets a forger. Gets a forger. And then, so then now this guy starts corresponding with the queen. Right. Quotes, right? Yeah, not the queen. Right. Is she writing the letters? Well, she's telling the forger what to write. Okay. So. Wow.

11:20
Yeah, so he's like, oh, so then it kind of gets to be like amorous. And then the guy's like, Oh my god, I can't believe I'm like flirting with Marie Antoinette. This is freaking nuts, right? Oh my goodness. Right. So he's like, I want to meet in person. Oh, she's like, shit. All right, what do I do? So she finds a sex worker. Stop it. That kind of looks like

11:49
gives her something, it was like flowers and a letter or something to give this guy. So she kind of like walks up to him with her head down, I guess, sees him, makes eye contact, gives it to him, and then people start flocking over. So she runs off and they go their separate ways. So he's like, oh my God, that was the queen. She just gave me this letter. So now he's like in it, right? Well, yeah. Right? Poor guy. What did he do wrong to deserve this? I don't know. It was in the podcast. It wasn't important to me.

12:18
Go, go, go. So then here we go. Here's the end game. OK, she goes, the queen, you know, then asks this guy who I didn't even bother writing his name down. It was probably important, but we'll call him Bill. But it's not his name. It's fine. What did Bill do? Bill goes, or the queen asked Bill if he wouldn't mind getting with this jeweler because this jeweler had made this really expensive piece of jewelry. I think it was a necklace.

12:48
It was like a 19 million dollar necklace in our in today's time Wow and only royalty could afford it and the original Monarch he had made it for died or lost power or something happened that he was out of the picture Sure, so he had originally tried to sell it to Marie Antoinette and she was like, yeah No, not interested and the jeweler was like if I can't sell this I'm gonna be out on the streets and she's like Not my problem, you know, take your jewelry and go away. So

13:15
Janet Jan knew this jewelry existed. So then writes her letter from the queen to ask Bill to go get this jewelry on loan, put a down payment down and pay it off and the queen will pay him. But the queen can't buy it. Oh my gosh. So he does it. Oh my.

13:39
Gosh. But he can't deliver it directly to the queen, you know, it would look bad. And the queen then, like, so Jan ends up with the necklace and the queen isn't wearing it. And then Bill is like, why is the queen wearing the necklace? And Jan's like, oh, she can't be seen wearing it right now. It wouldn't look good, you know, with the country the way it is to be seen wearing a $19 million necklace.

14:02
You know, she's happy. She appreciates you. Thank you. Not right now. In the meantime, he had the jeweler send a thank you letter to the queen. So the queen got a thank you for buying this jewelry letter. And she just thought it was like a joke or something. Thought nothing of it. Threw it out. So this whole thing is unraveling. Oh my God. I can't even talk right now. My eyes are so big and I am in... This is insane. Right? And this happened. Yeah, in the 1700s. Oh my gosh. Continue.

14:31
So, right, so she pulls it off. This could be a movie. Maybe it is, I don't know. Wow. It's for sure a podcast though. Okay, go, go, go. So she gets away, she's got the jewelry, she gets money. So now for the first time in her life, she's like spending money like she actually has it. Before she was borrowing and pawning and.

14:51
So like she had servants, but she had no money because she needed to give the air, you know, the idea that she had money. Yes. And that she was, and she was apparently pulled it off. Yes. So now she's got money and she's spending money and nobody really thinks anything of it. And then, um, so I'm going to kind of cut to the chase. Okay. All right. She gets the jewelry. Eventually she gets, oh no, I got to tell you this part. Okay. This is good. All right. Bill, a handful of times thinks maybe Jan is lying to him. Sure.

15:20
but never believes it. Oh, how could you? He is so into her lie, he fully believes she's friends with the queen and he's course, in no way did she fool him. It's funny you say that because in the world of lies, the ones you wanna believe, afterwards, after your bubbles popped, you're like, of course, but you wanna believe it. Sometimes that helps the lie. Yeah.

15:43
I mean, he wanted to believe he was in a relationship with the queen. Yeah. That's a lie I want to believe too. But even after he realized... Not like me specifically, but like if someone I admired... Right, but even after he realized that that part was fake, he still didn't think that Jan did it. Oh. Right? Shit. Yeah.

16:01
Wow, well, you know what? So that he still likes her. Well, I guess he eventually realized. Okay. They all got convicted. She escaped prison. Wow. So they got convicted. She went to jail. Yeah, I can't remember if she went to jail. She went to jail a handful of times and escaped prison. So then the bailiffs, the people came to get her in the end. I can't remember again, because she did so much other shit. Yeah. But when they came to get her, she was like, oh, sure, no problem.

16:27
I'll come with you. But before I go, do you want to come in and have some tea?" And they were like, yeah, why not? That sounds lovely. So she's like, cool, I'll go get the tea for you. Just come on and make yourselves at home. So she poisoned them all? No. So she went into the kitchen. I thought maybe she poisoned them all and killed them in their left. No, because she's not a killer. She's a con artist. Sorry. Yeah, you're right. Liar. There is a difference. There is a difference. She just seems like she would do that to get out of it. But you're right. She's just a liar. Just a liar. Sometimes they couldn't think, you know, you can be a liar and, but you're right.

16:56
Yeah, well, she jumped out the window and killed herself instead. Oh my God. I know. So instead of going to jail, so she is, like she killed herself. Well, yeah. But I guess, you know. And obviously there's a lot more to the story and it's worth listening to the whole thing, but we were talking about crazy lies. That is so crazy. Right? She got a $19 million necklace. She killed herself rather than deal with the lie. Well, rather than go to jail, I think. I know, but that's.

17:25
dealing with your lies, right? I dig that. But I will say that is crazy. That is absolutely 100% crazy. I feel pretty confident she could've conned her way out of jail if she had just given it a shot. I think that's probably how she got herself out of jail those few times. She dressed like a man. Oh, I thought, you know, she hid on a guard, whatever.

17:42
Mm-hmm. You know, I'm not sure she dressed like a man the the one she and just walked out Wow. Yeah good times, right? Yeah, yeah, she's like that. I asked another I wouldn't want to be your friend or anything. God No, I don't want her in my life, but I read about her Wow She's committed To everything and nothing So crazy lies I had to share fantastic, okay, so

18:09
In thinking about like how I was going to approach this week, I was, you know, I wanted to talk about, I was like something, you know, that I could relate to myself. So I was like, in regards to my marriage, we've kind of reached that phase in our lives where we are too honest with each other, if that makes sense. And I'll give you an example about that this morning. I'm lying in bed and there's no school today and there's no

18:39
us work or anything so it's we could sleep in it's great we could sleep in so I was like all of them I can sleep in but then of course it's like 6 45 and I'm like I have to pee I think I always poop fuck it's so warm I just want to stay in my bed so I go into the bathroom and I pee okay and I'm like I gotta poop but it's not ready yet okay it's just on deck it's not ready and I'm like am I gonna sit here on the toilet

19:09
and wait for it or am I gonna crawl back in my worm bed and let it tell me when it's ready? Well of course, I decided to go back into the bed. Well sure, okay, so I did. And I'm laying there and I'm like on my phone. This tube rolls over and he goes, why are you up? What are you doing? Poop on deck. I said, I was like, well.

19:37
I have to poop but it's already at!

19:42
And he said, oh fuck. And he rolled over. I'm sorry I asked. And that's at the level of honesty I am in my relationships. With you, with my husband, I don't lie anymore. But I do lie to my children. Yeah you do. So this week, I thought...

20:05
I'll talk about the lies people tell their children. Oh, yes. That is perfect. OK, because after you do that. Yes. I'll tell you how that ties into why I picked my story. OK, deal. I pulled my sisters and asked them, like, how did what? What has my mom ever like lied about to us? Because I couldn't remember much stuff. And I also said, what do you lie to about to your children? So I'm going to start with my research. OK. OK.

20:35
My research is like things like, and I read a whole article on if you swallow gum, it'll stay in your stomach for seven years, which is crazy. And apparently no, it passes through just like anything else. Really? Yeah. I mean, I always assume, but I never looked it up. Crazy lie. I still don't swallow gum. Your parents. This was a crazy lie. Drag racers were too, drag racing was two men running in the streets in women's clothing trying to outrun each other. That would be way more fun. Right? Much safer too.

21:04
So I was like, that should be real. That should be a thing. This parent told their son that.

21:11
He was afraid of clowns like your husband. So I thought I was like, oh. So he said that the ice cream truck was driven by clowns. So he would never ask for ice cream when he went by. This parent said that the oil stains on the roads were kids that got run over because they didn't hold their hands while crossing the street. You know what we call those? What? Pancake preschool buddies. Oh my gosh. That's terrible. You don't want to be a pancake preschool buddy. Oh my gosh.

21:41
heard that before. I was like, this terrible, the grease spots on the road. There's so many of them. Would you say three to four dozen of them? I would say at least three to four dozen. That's the safe number. That's the safe number. No. That's a lie. All right. So, um, uh, when, uh, apparently when this lady's daughter was little,

22:07
Mm-hmm. She said that if you burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, they would turn inside out. Oh, I thought you would explode. I was thinking explode too, and then it went a totally different direction. Inside I think that might be.

22:19
Works better. I don't know either way. I think that's I think that's better cleanup. I think you go inside out then explode Yeah, but other than that, I mean it's both kind of suck For you better for the person that's to deal with it, right? Wow, okay, so I yeah, could you just do inside out things, please? Just turn yourself. You said it's not people just die. We have to be very specific. Yeah. Yeah, just like implode No, no, no, no, that's still exploding. Yeah

22:49
You just exploded, right? I don't know. Dad told me that the turn signal, if the turn signal in the car was on too long, you would flip your car. So I'm still anxious to this day, they said. Could you imagine? Like I could just see it like, oh shit. Wouldn't you be concerned if you were riding behind somebody that had theirs on? You'd be like, turn it off, turn it off, oh my God. Oh my God, turn it off, I can't. You're gonna die.

23:16
I can't be behind them and they flip. So good. Anyway, so funny. So all right, and then this one hit home because every time, if this offends anyone, I'm sorry. Anytime you go off the road, my husband's always like, I'm traveling by braille. So this one, this lie, my dad told me the rumble strips on the highway are for blind drivers.

23:42
And it took me years until I realized, well played dad. Well played dad. So tickled by. Tickled to fancy. And then this one was a dad told him that Santa was so tired that he wanted Doritos and beer. And I thought, well, that's a good, that was practical. Like many years I could have been eating what we wanted to eat. Yeah. But no. Well with cookies and milk. This is a brilliant dad. Yeah. So good.

24:12
Last one. I'm just thinking about what I would ask My kids to leave for Santa had I been adventurous. What would you ask? If you didn't have to do cookies and milk, I would I definitely would have some you I could do yours you would have like Starbucks and Either cold or hot probably it's gonna sit there cold and then you would have Hmm. I don't know. You could go please Danish. I was thinking a steak

24:42
Dinner time! I was thinking it was going to be hunkery! What a hungry Santa!

24:54
Hungry, hungry, stay on the ground. That should be a game. What would you have? Some kind of matcha latte? Yeah, I think so. I would have like... I guess I would. No, because matcha keeps me awake. So I'd probably like a... Hot water? Lemon? Yes. So I do drink at night. Of course you do.

25:24
It's usually, no I don't, the Hinge Waters. Hinge Waters is what I drink at night. Oh, not hot? No. Only in the cold weather you eat them up. I would put tea in it if I was gonna do a hot water. Oh, that'll keep you up. Well, no, a decaf. Oh, of course. You are so my grandma.

25:44
I can predict what you like based on the stuff that she did and said and liked. Every time. Every time you're like, well of course you do. My grandma likes that. Today, Stu was trying to throw away ketchup packets. Thank you. And I took them from him and I put them in my bag of ketchup packets that's in my drawer in my fridge. I know. And I took your whole drawer. And Stu goes, god damn it. And I said, I said we might need them for lunches. And he's like, you are a grandma. I said, yes, you're married to a hot sexy grandma.

26:14
I'm just like a 40-year-old virgin. I don't have grandkids. I don't even, you know, my kids already shouldn't even, at this age, be having grandkids. So, but you do push your cart around in grocery stores with only your bag in it. I surely do, my bag is heavy with me too. I surely do. And all the words I say, you're always like, that's a grandma word. I'm sure they'll get enough of those. They surely will. They surely will.

26:40
That's because it's who you are. Go to your list. So I think about my last one. OK. All right. Grandpa told us. Oh my god.

26:55
Here's my last one. Okay. Grandpa told me that there's a tube connecting my belly button and my butt. And if you unscrew your belly button, your butt will fall off.

27:15
I saved the funniest one for last. I don't even understand how that would work. I don't even know how you... Is it stitched on or on the outside of the very bed? There's a cord in the middle. Right. But like your butt is still part of your body? I know. It's a kid, Laura. Oh, okay. Sorry. My bad.

27:37
Anyway, I thought you'd appreciate it falling off Because I know how you are with I mean, it's not a head. No, it's not a head, but it's man Do I love a good exploding head? Oh Okay, so that was the last one. Oh, okay For my my crazy stuff and then of my research right of your research and then my third hand research So I sister you have first hand research sure Well, yeah a little bit of both But yeah, so then my so then was and I even asked my husband and he was like we used to tell our kids when We're little

28:07
that there were cameras in the house, so they would not lie.

28:11
Serpy, you know, I was like, oh, yeah, there's just not like in their bedrooms But like in the basement where all the kids go to play it's the finished basement, you know That just they're down there. So if something breaks, we already know who did it, you know stuff like that So then you know, they kind of called us called, you know, or our bluff on that Yeah, the other thing that's to reminded me about and we talked about you know The Santa and all those lies and to Mary and what else is there? I don't know So when we were little

28:41
Otis was afraid of the tooth fairy. Oh. Because he didn't want some strange woman coming in to his room at night. So he made us keep most of his teeth. He still has. Oh my God. Because of the lie we told. Wow. And then we eventually figured out we could just put it outside the room. So his tooth fairy would come to the kitchen. Oh, that's smart. And leave money so we could get rid of teeth. Because he didn't want some strange woman in his bedroom. Well no, that's creepy. It was scary as hell.

29:11
Yeah, so you know on that note, you know, we ruin our children. Sure. So my sisters, they were just writing like if you sit too close to the TV, you go blind. Excuse me. They said like if you touch a baby bird, the mom will abandon it. They were sending like all these weird ones that like... Wait, is that not true? No, apparently it's not. Apparently that's a myth. I don't know. Dying your hair makes you go blah, blah, blah. My one sister, like there were all those ones. Like if you smack your back, your face freezes.

29:41
You know, they were giving like a bunch of... The ones that everybody, you know, the common ones that everybody tells their kids. And then my sister comes out with, oh, and when we were watching Howard the Duck and we were little, mom told us that that condom was a balloon, because he blows up a condom.

29:58
like that's very specific Kathy. It's very specific. So that happened. We watched Tower of the Duck. So that led me to think of like ways that I've lied to my children and one of the most horrifyingly embarrassing ones, which I'll share with you all now. Well, obviously was when I left my feminine massager charging on the window.

30:22
Behind a curtain, mind you. Right. And it plugs in. And apparently, kids constantly lose their cords to their phones and the charging blocks. Yeah. So someone needed a charging block. They went into our bedroom, and they got the charging block of the item that was charging on the window.

30:48
I came in and I'm like, fuck, where's my charging block? And it dawned on me. And I was like, oh no, how do I get this back? Max is like, I took your charging block and this is when they were younger. And I'm like, okay, cool, can I get it back? And I'm like, thought it was over. And then a few days later, Yeah. He's like, so what was that thing on your window?

31:14
I don't know buddy. Your face is just a... I'm just going to describe it to everybody that can't see you. It's just a blank stare of how do I answer this. So I... So... I don't know buddy. You know what? I'm not sure. I'm like, you know, maybe it's like a personal massage thing, probably something you do when you're older. Perfect. And he proceeded to tell me he knew what it was. Oh. And it was for the butt. And I said, yep! It was for the butt! And I left!

31:44
I'm uncomfortable with this whole situation. So that is a lie that I told my child that, you know what, I take full responsibility for if they're messed up in the future. I do and I beat myself up over that. But you know what, things happen.

32:04
I'm sure he's figured it out by now. Oh, for sure. Yes, I'm not worried about it. He knows. It was horrifyingly horrible. And so anyway, that is a time I lied to my child. So that is a time. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, you know what? I appreciate that you did that.

32:26
but I'm gonna make you feel much better about yourself. Not about a lie I've told, but how lies parents tell their kids and how my story of a pathological liar can all tie together into... Nice big bow on it. A nice pretty bow. Ties into having in-laws who are pathological liars. Yeah, I don't like those people. No, you shouldn't. You're right to not. Yes. So I'll tell you a few of the lies that they've told us over the years. Oh, so this is stuff that's happened to you.

32:56
These are things that have happened to me. Oh man. So one year between Christmas and New Year's there was a cruise that was scheduled and they had already bought tickets and I had to go or Sean was gonna have to find somebody else to go and I said, well, just let me check I usually we were in college. Let me I usually spend that time with my family I don't want to miss that just let me look into it. They yelled at me. There was no cruise Nobody went. Oh my god never happened

33:24
They told us that they had done Sean's taxes one year. He, and then he's like, do I owe? Are I getting money back? No, you broke even. He's like, well, that's odd. All right. He's saying I probably owed a little bit and you know, they just paid it for me. Not only did not, they never did them. Oh my goodness. Like what's the, why? I don't know. Like he just said in doom, they'll doom themself.

33:48
That's what we said. They said they had paid his car insurance, never paid it. So he went so long without car insurance, knowing that he had to send his license plates back. Oh my god. He let's see, I mean, I can keep going. They took out credit cards in his name. But that's I mean, that's, that's a, that's a lie. But that's a scam. And, you know, yeah, they

34:13
never paid his student loans and then took out loans in his name. Yeah, that I knew about. That's why I don't like them. Right. So I mean, there's so many, but those are like the fun lies. It's not that they didn't, it's not like he had student loans and he didn't want to pay them. They had just said they did. Right. So then they went into fault. It's like if he would have paid them himself. Like, I don't understand. Like, that's such a weird story. That's a story for another time. So when your in-laws are pathological liars, there is a never-ending supply of stories.

34:39
We've since cut them out, so, but the well has run, well, let me say the fountain has been shut off, but the well will likely never run dry. Ha ha ha.

34:49
Yeah, no, I'm telling you, like, lie-wise, I, um...

34:53
some really funny ones. Like I just know that my poor kids know. Yours are not funny. Yours piss me off, but they're so crazy. Yeah, they're crazy. They're funny. I mean, they're definitely crazy. Yes. It's just the stuff we go. Yes. Not the good crazy that we are. No, no, it's the bad. No, but yours are also crazy. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, it's fun. So yeah, I don't think, I don't know if there's anything else. Do I have, you have anything else? I always forget something and then I'm like, damn it.

35:23
That's what next week's for, to talk about all the shit we forgot to talk about this week. Okay, I like it. Oh wait, I did, oh no. I did say that. Terrified woman coming at him. That was my notes. That was the Tooth Fairy coming at Max. Oh, yeah. I was like, terrified woman, oh yeah, that's the Tooth Fairy flying through his window trying to kill him. Thanks for that. Sorry. I was just going over my notes. No, I appreciate it. Anyway, so, I appreciate you. I appreciate you. Until next time. Later. Later. Bye.

35:54
Hey, before we go, wasn't there something you wanna tell all the peoples? Yeah, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our little podcast wherever you like to listen. We heard it's important. Super important. Yep, and where else can they find us, Laura? You know what, I'm glad you asked. They can also find us on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram at My Crazy Friend Podcast. And if you have anything you wanna tell us,

36:20
just email us at mycrazyfriendpodcast.gmail.com. All that is accurate. So yeah, until next time. Later.