Episode 3: Cleansing sneeze-and-pee (the alcohol episode)

This week's topic: Crazy alcohol stories

In this intoxicating episode, Cori and Laura discuss crazy alcohol-related stories that amazed even them... And they'll answer questions you didn't even know to ask, like why does Cori need two urns and how do we know that Laura is not Jolene? 

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Transcript

00:03
Love me some tambourine. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Welcome back to the third installment of My Crazy Friends. Third installment, huh?

00:16
What? Is that weird? I don't know. How many installments do we have? I don't know. I guess I should have re-done what that actually meant. Three simple installments and you're a full-fledged listener. So, third time's a charm. How about that? I think the last two pretty much rocked. What? Well, this is even better. A charm. I don't know.

00:39
Oh my God. Episode three, here we go. Great, awesome. So, before we get started, I wanted to talk about. Do you wanna say who you are? I'm Cori. Who are you? I'm Laura. She's my crazy friend. Oh, and you're my crazier friend. Mm, you know, I disagree. Well, to be determined, huh? Yeah, mm, TBD. We will just agree to disagree until then. And you're saying. So I was just gonna say. And then I should, well, I shouldn't even go there. No, I think you have to now.

01:09
Last time we were talking about urns. Oh yeah. And we were talking about gifts that, you know, were weird. And I said that I thought an urn was practical and a wonderful gift. And you told me that if I registered for the urn that I wanted my ashes in forever, that you would not buy the one that I registered for, you would just get me one. Right. So I have a solution. I have one too because I've also been thinking about this and I don't want to be a bad friend to you. So you go. Well I want your artistic urn. I think that would be perfect. But I also want what I want. So I'm going to just split myself.

01:39
Half of me is going to go in the one urn, and half of me is going to go the other, and you get one, and my husband gets one.

01:47
Oh, that's perfect. Perfect. See, what I was going to do was just buy the one that you wanted and then bedazzle it. Ooh, then I could all be in one. That'd be only if you don't want half of me in your house. Oh, I like your idea better than mine. And maybe I'll even split myself even more. Maybe I'll just say, everyone bring an urn. And then you get different sizes. And then the more you like me, the bigger it is and the more ashes that you get. Oh, wow. I know.

02:13
You can wear me around your neck on a necklace. Oh, baby. You know what? If you let me carry your urn around, it would probably be the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. Oh, I'm dead. That was so dumb. The stupidest thing you ever did in your death, maybe. In my death, yeah. Because you would spill me. Right, and then you would be everywhere. I would be everywhere. Aw. You know, that reminds me. There was a question in this box of cards that we were going to get, and I don't remember the question anymore. But the answer is.

02:41
I know the answer. Oh, this sounds like it's gonna be super deep Laura. I'm ready. Just life. You know what I mean? I've got so many answers of somebody who just asked me the right questions. Oh my. I pray they don't.

02:59
Alright, alright, give me your answer. So the question was something along the lines of like when you're on the metro or the subway, as they call it in New York City. Yep. Like 20% of what you're breathing in is what? Oh! Like, and then it was like... I'm sorry, 20% is what? I just didn't want to hear it. Right, that was the blank. Oh. Is what? What? Oh, okay, so like blank. Yeah, and then the, and then there were a bunch of choices and I forget what it was, but the answer was dead skin cells. Oh!

03:27
And that's a lot. So your ashes flying everywhere reminded me of breathing in dead skin. I could just breathe. Breathe in, Cori.

03:35
I think I would be very cleansing. I disagree. At least make a sneeze. Yeah. And that should also probably make me pee, so it might be cleansing. Surely could sneeze and pee. Who doesn't need that? Oh, that's my favorite. Sneeze and pee, cough and pee. Oh god, yeah. All the good ones. Laugh and pee. All the good ones. Got the greatest ants here.

03:58
Oh my gosh. So anyway, you said you were going to look into the human skin lampshade from last episode. So I was curious to do. I did. I did. And film me in. So I told you that that guy gave it as a gift to his friend after he realized for sure what it was. Sure. And that's how it made my list of bad gifts. So apparently, after he gave it, well, before he gave it as a gift, he had an inkling of what it was. So then he gave it as a gift. And then this guy had it tested. It was for sure human skin, which you

04:28
Germany. Yeah. Well, and it was. Okay. So they were trying to figure out all the history of it and then like the real historians didn't want to touch it because they were like we need to leave this as a myth basically and we don't want lampshades of people like in our museums. Right. Or like you know at the Goodwill. Right. Or at the Goodwill. Any of those. So that actually came out of a flood out of after Hurricane Katrina. That's how it ended up at the Goodwill.

04:57
So somebody was a collector of Nazi memorabilia in New Orleans. Oh, wow. Yikes. Yeah. So long story short. That's crazy. That is crazy. So it's still at the friend's house, because nobody will take it from him. And he doesn't want to bury it, and he doesn't know what to do with it. So apparently, he's a writer, or there's an investigation. I'm condensing a lot of article reading into a sentence or two. So I may be missing a few points, but Justice there. You know what? At the end of the day, if you're really curious about the story, Google's a good friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just Google it.

05:27
Just look it up. That's crazy. What does the kitchen say? Just search up human lampshade. Search it up. Well, speaking of that, I stumbled. I was looking up crazy stories, and I stumbled across a ton of human stuff. And you said it was like some murderer. Ed Gain. Yes, thank you. Yeah. It was a chair. There was a nipple belt. It was way too much. It's way too much. And I thought you could see the faces in the furniture. I don't need to, though. I know, but I'm thinking, wouldn't you just

05:56
I would be like, hey, that's my aunt. Can I have her face off your furniture? I don't know, I just don't want, that's, I'm sorry. It messed me up. I, you know, I love doing this podcast with you, but I don't like going down some of the rabbit holes that I do on, on, on Linerie. You're like, I'm like, oh, I wish I never would have read that, it's terrible. So. I know, so I appreciate you not telling them to me. I won't, I won't. Thanks. I probably will. You probably will.

06:23
What else would Buzzkill Cori do? Yeah, BKC, back again, because I get stuck in my head. So the only way for it to get out of my head is to pass it. Sorry for you. You know what? I think I just wrote our theme song. Oh. BKC is back again. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, thanks. That's terrible. Speaking of music. Just because I can't sing, but the words are there. I have an update. The baby that got dropped off on 

06:53
Dolly Parton's doorstep. Yeah. The note said, because we weren't sure how they got the name, said, my name is Jolene. My mama has left me here, and she wants you to have me. That was it. That was the whole thing. And that's all they knew. And she would be around 45 today. And they just called Child Protective Services. But there's a Jolene out there right now who's around 45. And.

07:19
I think it might be me. Your name's not Jolene, Laura. It's Laura. But this person's name is Jolene and you weren't adopted. You know, there's still... But if you're adopted and your name's Jolene, you could be the one that was on Dolly Parton's steps. But there's... She often thinks about her. She feels so warm. All right. All right. Look, there's tiny... Those are like small details, but let me tell you what. I feel like that song is about me. And here's why.

07:48
Here's why. I feel like with the exception of the green eyes. Can I just stop for a minute? Yeah.

07:53
Okay, wait, now you please explain. Okay. So my son and I were playing pool. Okay. And the song came on. Sure. And I was singing and dancing, you know, as one does. And I said, I'm gonna get green contacts and I'm gonna go as Jolene for Halloween. And he goes, what? Yeah. And I said, quite a commitment, right? It's well, clearly the song is about me. So all I need is green contacts. I've got everything else.

08:21
Okay, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna read to you what you attest. Oh, you have the lyrics? I just Googled them right now. Oh, wow. So, you said, Yeah. Your beauty is beyond compare. Yeah.

08:35
with flaming locks of auburn hair. Look, right here. Yeah, you have a little bit of red on your hair, but that is flaming red. Flaming. It's in the dye name. Flaming. OK, go ahead. Your smile is like a breath of spring. Oh, yeah, thank you. Wow. Your voice is soft like summer rain. I like to think that too. I.

08:58
I think we all can hear that that one is okay. What else do we got here? Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. Please don't take your man. I won't. You're welcome. With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green. Yes, ivory skin. Look, you can't get much paler than pale.

09:20
Right? So all you're missing is the... Eyes of Emerald Green. Ah. Yeah. And a lot of the other parts of it. But that's okay. I'm not gonna even go there. I feel like I just checked off every other part. Awesome. So... So, yeah. So, but you're just... Who the... Who the... Who the song was written after. Right? Obviously it's all... You're not the baby that was left on the steps because of the song. I don't know. Maybe I am. Just kidding. Maybe I am. You're not. Just so you know.

09:49
I could call your mom and ask her. She'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I took her from Dolly Parton. I'd be like, holy shit. The case is broken. She had opened. She looks just like you. Crazy thing, baby plastic surgery. Wow.

10:08
It's the newest thing. It's the newest thing. The newest grace. It's in vogue. Don't even worry about it. Oh my god. You have so many issues. Yeah, I know about it. All right. So. Yeah. What's up? I don't know. So this week, what crazy topic are we talking about? Okay. So after the last two coincidental topics. Sure. Or a week or. I think the second one wasn't quite coincidental. The first one was. Ugh. Whatever. Anyway, we decided to go with a topic this week of alcohol.

10:37
Yeah, that's crazy shit that happens. I guess, but it doesn't really even have to be related. But if you think about alcohol, when you think about this, whatever we were. Yeah, we were so it's such a loose. So, yeah, no, no expectations. None.

10:52
And that works well for me because you know what? So I started down the alcohol, like looking up crazy things that people did. Sure. And just whatever. I mean, there's so many of them. It's hard to. So many. So many, like, do you go for crimes? Do you go for like just crazy shit? Do you go for babies? Do you go like where to go? Anyway, so going down this rabbit hole, I ended up off of alcohol into some other things. I'm like, oh, that's fine. I can tie it back to alcohol for a podcast. And then it hit me that alcohol is so broad. If I can't stay within that,

11:22
serious issue so I brought myself back around to alcohol just for you. So are we gonna get the other story at some point? Oh yeah maybe next week. I'm gonna go off script at some point you know when we have a topic. I just thought maybe the first time we officially agreed on one shouldn't be the first time I do it. I was I thought yeah I thought you were just gonna go rogue. I was almost gonna. Well cool cool. So I decided that I would just go old school and do alcohol as it relates to Darwin award winners.

11:52
Okay. All right, fantastic. So I mean, I think we've all done some pretty stupid shit on alcohol. Sure. Or when drinking alcohol, not on alcohol. I don't know, how do you say it? Anyway, when drinking. Yeah. So.

12:08
It always makes me feel good to know, well, at least I didn't do this shit, you know? Okay, it's that bad, it's that bad. I'm looking forward to this. So the Darwin Awards, I don't know, in case anybody doesn't know, are people who have done something so dumb that they've ended up removing themselves from the human race.

12:24
And so they win a Darwin Award. There's a committee that votes. I don't know. I'm not the voter. I'm just an enjoy of the reading. Yeah, you should be. I think I should be, too. You would be good at that. Thank you. So this is an honorable mention. I'm going to start with one who didn't die, just to ease us in. Oh, good. So this is just like, better be careful. You might die. Right. Don't do this again. Yep, gotcha. Cautionary tale. Cool. So in Germany in 2007, a 64-year-old man

12:54
was returning from Egypt, okay? So, and he had two pints of vodka on him. Okay. I'm gonna try not to read this word for word, but you'll get the picture, okay? Yeah. So two pints of vodka. Security says, you can't take that much alcohol on the plane. And he says, well, screw you, I can't. Drinks it all. And then gets alcohol poisoning, rush to the doctor, survives, but barely. Like, don't drink all that, you know what I mean? Well, he wasn't gonna waste it.

13:23
I guess. You know, he already paid for it. What was he going to do with it? He had to drink it. I don't see it. I think he had to drink all of it though. I don't think he had to drink all of it. Yeah, I'm thinking like drinking often that, you know, maybe half of it. Right, just get your drink on. Yeah. And move on. And then move on. And maybe share it with some friends. Right. You know, give everybody in the whole plane a shot. Right.

13:43
But you know what? I'm gonna move on to 2007's winner. Okay. So that was the 2007 honorable mention. Questionable asshole, but that's fine. Questionable, okay. So I'm just gonna read this, okay? This is the citation directly from the Darwin Awards. Okay. I'm not gonna paraphrase this one. All right. I don't wanna fuck it up. Get it right. Get it right, okay. So when Tammy Jean, 40, married Michael in Texas in 2002, little did she know that Michael, who was 56, had a secret.

14:11
You're going to know what his secret was because I just told you. He's an alcoholic. That's not verbatim. That was me ad-libbing. Okay, so he's an alcoholic. Yes. But not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. The Texan machine shop operator couldn't ingest alcohol by mouth, apparently due to painful medical problems with his throat. So instead, elected to receive his favorite beverage, the Edema.

14:39
Like his wife used to give it to him. Well, I don't know. Yes Can you get cuz he can't really give to himself, right? It was it was his wife, but I'm gonna get there in a second Okay, sorry, but no, that's a good question. Yeah, it's a good question one for which there is an answer. It's good. I'm riveting Yeah, it is. I'm riveted. You should be this is riveting. Yeah, that's what I should go go go. Okay Essentially the the resultant effect was the same. However, when the rest of us have had enough we simply stopped drinking or pass out however, when Michael had had enough and

15:09
The alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. Rather than dissuading Michael from drinking, Tammy insisted him in his pursuits by supplying, this was in 2004, not one, but two one and a half liter bottles of sherry. It is bomb. Three liters of sherry. Three. Okay.

15:33
This is after he was passed out? No, no, this was just this is this one into his enema tube. OK, OK.

15:40
So, Michael was in for one hell of a party. More than 100 flue and ounces of sweet, sweet sherry, right up your old address. Wow. Okay. Tammy performed her marital duties admirably and administered to her husband's every need. Unfortunately, when she awoke the next morning, Michael was dead in the bed beside her. A subsequent autopsy found that Michael's blood alcohol level was, wait for it.

16:09
0.47 percent. Six times the legal intoxication limit in Texas. Wow. Right?

16:19
What a way to go. I can't even, and there are so many. That's a crazy way to die. Yeah, I'm gonna give you one more. Okay. If you don't mind. I am, I am all ears. This is crazy. And then we can talk about some of the crazy shit that we've done on alcohol, but after hearing these things, Yeah. It'll just be funny. Oh, I know. We're like, yeah. Well, I am funny. That's who I am when I'm drunk. Well, that's true. But I mean. No, no, I'm funny to myself. Oh God, yeah. That's all I'm funny to. No one else thinks I'm funny. That's okay.

16:49
You gotta love yourself. I remember laughing at you when you've been drunk. It's why I keep you around. Thank you. Yeah, it's like gin quarry. Gin quarry's fun. Yeah, she is. She has a good time. She has a good time. Yeah. I'll keep her. Okay, so anyway, this was a 1999 Darwin Award winner. All right, I'm ready. So this happened in 97. Sorry. Drinking one, I'm gonna read this verbatim too. You don't have to tell me, just read it. Oh, okay.

17:15
All right, perfect. I appreciate the warning though. Okay. I guess it's for people that can't see that you're reading. I can see it. Oh, okay. You can read it. She's reading. I'm reading. Okay, go. Also, I'm not paraphrasing. I don't want to get in trouble for, what's that called when you steal plagiarism? Oh, okay. All right. Drinking oneself to death need not be a long lingering process.

17:37
Do you like my accent? No. I added that for you. No. It was Australia, so I thought it needed one. You know what, though? What? It wasn't as bad as it usually is. Thank you. That's all I'm going to say. Aw, thanks. You know what, it was almost recognizable. Yeah, as Australian. Really close. Thank you. You're welcome. Alan. So a 30? Now you've got to keep doing it. Oh, shit. All right. Let me get back in. She's never good the second time around. No. Gets worse. Oh, thank you.

18:07
Thank you, Alan. Alan, a 33 year old computer, fuck it, I'm just going to read it. Thank you. Okay, so he was a computer technician. He showed his competitive spirit by dying of competitive spirits. I don't get it.

18:27
Okay, so there was a drinking competition. Sure. So he showed his competitive spirits. Oh, by drinking too much. Of competitive drinking. Okay. Also known as spirits. Got it. Wine and spirits. Got it. That's why it's called that in the store. Sure. Oh my gosh. Anyway, so there was a hotel bar, had a drinking competition. Sure. And there was a 100 minute time limit.

18:51
and a sliding points scale ranged from one for beer to eight points for hard liquor. So the more points you get in this 100 minutes, the more chance you have of winning. Whatever this said. Yeah. Prize. Right. Air quotes, maybe. Okay, so Alan stood and cheered, his winning total of 236. Then in parentheses here it says winners never quit. Oh my God.

19:16
So his blood alcohol level was.353 grams of alcohol per 100 milliliters of blood. Seven times greater than Australia's legal driving limit of.05%. So anyway, so this guy, a forensic pharmacologist. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I think I said that wrong. You're struggling. I know. These are hard words today. Don't pick stuff like this. Well, I didn't know it was going to be hard to say. It was easy to read in my head. I didn't try it out loud. I should read out loud earlier. You should.

19:46
You should practice reading out loud. See how that goes with your husband and your son. See how they do. Yeah, they wouldn't do well. They would laugh at you. So anyway, long story short, if he hadn't puked so much, he had 34 beers, four bourbons, and 17 shots of tequila in an hour and 40 minutes. Because he puked so much, that's why his blood alcohol was only 0.353. If he hadn't, it would have been 0.41% to 0.43%. Wow.

20:12
So, so puking helps if you don't want to be too drunk. Well, I didn't help him, but other people, yeah. If you don't take it to quite the extreme. Yes. Those are crazy stories. Right? And to your point, I think that's why I would be a really shitty alcoholic, because I drink wine and I puke. Puker. You're a puker. Yeah. I get dizzy. I don't like that feeling of dizzy. Not a big puker, but I don't like that feeling. And I don't like being hung over. OK.

20:42
Okay. Okay. So if you ever find yourself in Canada at a place called Dawson City, Yukon, there is a bar there called the Sour Toe Cocktail Club. That sounds cool. Yeah. I like it. So what you want to do is you want to go there and you want to order their signature cocktail, which is called the Sour Toe Cocktail. Sour Toe Cocktail. Okay. It contains a mummified toe floating in your drink. Oh my god. I'm not pro-pl-ah.

21:11
So I'm probably not gonna. I was thinking it was gonna be like a cherry. But you know what? To become a member, not only do you have to drink one of those, but this is what they say. You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but your lips must touch that toe. Oh my God. So to become a member, you have to touch the gross toe. So the tradition started in 1973 by some captain. He found some mummified toe.

21:40
in his old cabin that he was. And the legend was like it belonged to some 1920s rum runner. And I guess in a blizzard, he got Gangrene chopped off his toe. And then the original toe apparently is long gone. It was swallowed by some miner in 1980. But since then, other people have donated their appendages for the cause. Oh my god. Most recent happened in 2018 when some guy named Brit Nick.

22:08
Griffin's lost three toes to frostbite while he was in, you know, the Yukon. And so the bar could serve his toes in the drinks. Oh, my God. So, yeah, I'm like a toe drink. I'm getting like goosebumps. It's crazy. That is disgusting. So crazy. So wait, can you always for I have so many questions. Can you always go there and get a drink or only when they have available? I think they always have a toe like they'd never go toeless.

22:34
How do they get them? People don't eat them. Well, you said most recently in 2018. What happened between then? Or is this a moment? Well, no one eats them. That's accidentally. They used the same toe over and over and over. So yeah, no one eats them. You have to touch the toe with your lips to get in. But it was just a weird, in 1980, it got eaten.

22:52
eaten, I guess. Oh, I see crazy guy who's like, I'm going to eat the toe. But normally, everybody gets the same toes. You have to wait your turn. If it's a bunch of toe drinks, you're number five. You're the fifth person to drink the toe that day. Oh my god. That's even, I don't know. I was thinking everybody got a toe. No. And then you had to chug shots of toe. No, I think it's just one toe. And I think it's probably in a pickle jar on the bar. Oh my god. I want to go. I'm not going to drink. Oh my god.

23:22
I don't even see it. Now I haven't even thought about how the store said toes. Oh my god, now I'm envisioning like bats of like formaldehyde. Oh, I guess not. What? Rum? Yeah, probably alcohol, right? I guess. Or whatever they put those. You ever see bar pickled eggs? Yeah. Do they have those around here too? Yeah. I always wanted to eat one, but I was so scared. I'll get a bar pickle. There was a bar that had them back. We'll imagine bar pickles, but they'd be toes. Yeah.

23:50
Anybody getting foot fetishes? They might be into that bar. I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to take it around. But it is definitely a fucked up story. I mean, I can't map my brain around the fact that people... Okay, this is... So if you shot, like you did like a jello shot or like a shot of whatever.

24:13
I was thinking the toe was in that. I'm like, that's gross. And how are they getting all these toes? I think the toe's in what the toe's in, and that's what you get to drink. Okay, and then you have this, like, now I'm thinking how many people put it in their mouth. I was like, oh, I had the whole thing, and then you're sharing. Oh, it's so gross. But you know, the alcohol kills everything. Well, sure, but it's still gross. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Well, luckily, we've always made really good decisions when choosing which alcohol we should drink, because we've never.

24:40
toes. No, no, we've never even had like live or I guess obviously not live but previously live objects, no snakes, no worms. No. But um,

24:50
Yeah, speaking of our fun times with alcohol, the one that always comes to my head is when we, well, I got my first tattoo. Oh, yeah, you did. And my only tattoo. You're not allowed to do that when you've been drinking. I am aware. I did. I did. And you know what, as soon as the needle touched my leg, I was sober. I was 100% sober.

25:16
I'm a big baby and that's why I still only have one tattoo. But that's fine. So we were drinking. We went to DC for like a little girls trip. It was so fun. For a little girls trip. Little girls. We had so much fun. And we went too. I took Laura to some crazy places. She took me to some crazy places. But we got so drunk one night. And we were in the hotel. And we were starving. And for the life of us, we couldn't figure out how to get food. Well, back up a second. OK. We can't just go with, we were so drunk.

25:46
explain how drunk we were. Okay, you go ahead, because I don't even remember. Well, we were staying at Embassy Suites. This is back when they had unlimited alcohol. Yes, they did. Not all Embassy Suites had unlimited alcohol, but we always stayed at the same Embassy Suites, because this specific Embassy Suites was unlimited happy hour. Anything you wanted. Anything you wanted. So, we said, and you could get two per person at a time. At a time. So we're like two, boom, boom, two more.

26:16
Boom, boom. Yeah, it was so much fun. And then the bartender... I can't believe we made it from the bar back to our room, to be honest. Dude. That's fine. And nachos. Oh my god. The nachos! They were so good. Okay. So the bartender was so sweet. Yeah. Then he started, instead of just giving us these stupid little martinis... So we drink gin martinis. Yes. Extra dirty. Yes. So instead of giving us stupid little martini glasses, he started giving us wine glasses. Yes, he did. Like...

26:41
stemless red wine glasses. Yep. Filled. Yeah. With lots of olives, because we love olives so much. So we'd each get two of those. Yep. And then we started thinking ahead and going, you know what? If we just keep getting two at a time, we can fill a tray and take these up to our room and be set for the night. Absolutely. So we ended up, I don't even know how many. I don't either. It was a tray. It was a lot. It was a tray. And we drank the whole two hours we were down there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We sure did. And then we were hungry. And then we were starving.

27:11
the life of us figure out how to get food or what we wanted. So we decided we wanted Chinese food. I think that was after a long contemplate, or you know, discussions. We decided on Chinese food. We couldn't figure out how to get the food from outside the hotel to inside our bellies. That was the challenge. That was the challenge. So, and we knew that our men were hanging out together. Yes they were. So we're like.

27:38
Let's just get them to do it. A few states away. And we're like, so I don't know who called who first. I don't know. I called Sean, I think. Yeah. And you were like, we're really hungry. And we need food. Yes. And we need Chinese food. Yep. And he said, where are you staying? And we said, MBC Sweets. Of course. And he said, what room? I don't know. What the fuck if I know? I don't know. I have no idea.

28:04
Can't you come figure out? I don't know why they're with us. Anyway, that night our boys were amazing. That was the night. Yeah. They were amazing. Because that was the best Chinese food I've ever received. And we did figure out how to answer the door. They paid for it. It was all done. Everything was taken care of. All we had to do was get the door. We just had to get the door. And I think they were down in the lobby for a while. And I think the boys were like, you need to take it to them. Yeah.

28:32
It was the best Chinese food. I know, you know what? And I didn't throw up. No. So that's the key. We're talking about alcohol stuff. The key is, if you're gonna drink, you have to have Chinese food. Yeah.

28:43
Oh, I think I had chicken fried rice. It was so good. Oh my god, I had beef and broccoli. Best beef and broccoli ever. So good. So anyway. Oh my god. That was a good time. Yeah, so during the day at that point, or maybe, I don't remember, maybe it was in between happy hour and. I think we made the, I think during happy hour is when we decided to go get tattoos. Yeah. So there was a tattoo. Oh no, maybe it was earlier. It was earlier in the day. So we must have been drinking. You must have been drinking. We just got our tolerance up. Yeah, we were drinking all day.

29:13
until we were at happy hour that we were really drinking. Yeah, you're right. We pretended we were 21 again. Yeah, that was fun. It was so much fun. So that's one of my drinking stories that I remember with you. I have a few with my husband that I think people thought that he was.

29:29
you know, taking me home to kill me. But we were in New Orleans. And those hurricanes taste like Kool-Aid. Oh, yeah. I get you. I drank it like it was Kool-Aid. That was not a smart decision. Not a smart decision. So yeah, that was a hungover on the plane. And that's the last time. That was a while ago. And that was the last time, like years ago. And that's the last time. Last time. That I have gotten drunk to have a hangover. Except for recently, I think. Except for recently. That's the last time. Except for all the time since then. No. Ha.

29:58
Weirdest fucking thing. I don't even know. That time and then I think recently I was hungover because of Thanksgiving, but I didn't drink a lot. I think it was just the alcohol. I was hungover when we went to Pittsburgh. Yeah, and it wasn't my fault. Oh, yeah, you were. Yeah, I was. Yeah, you were. Because you can't drink alcohol anymore. You know that. No, and I drink a lot of vodka. Yeah, and vodka's not good. Well, I didn't order it. Our friend kept bringing it to me. Oh, that's right. I remember. He was supposed to be bringing me water. Yeah, and he was bringing me vodka. And then he was bringing me water, but the damage was done.

30:28
It was done. But that was fine, because I went into that night planning to puke. Yeah. And I remember waking up to you puking in the middle of the night. I showered. I did my laundry. It was cool. I thought maybe you might need my help. No, no. But yeah, that was a drinking story with us. Another one that I remember is when we went, you and your husband, me and my husband to the Bahamas. Oh, you can't do much else there, can you? No, there was nothing else to do. I mean, you know. We told her eating out of the trash story, more or less. Yeah, so that was at the Bahamas as well.

30:58
was the eating of the trash story. And this, I mean, we were, so it takes my husband at least six drinks before he'll dance. Yeah, it does. So we had dancing stew almost the whole vacation. We just drank. That's all we did. I don't think we did much of anything else. And then we laid on the beach a little bit. We ate a little bit. You know, there was a little bit gambling. A little bit of gambling. A lot of dancing. But there's always dancing. One night, we all went back to our rooms to kind of rally. Yes.

31:28
And we were gonna come back out swinging. Yeah, we were we had big plans We had big plans like huge plans and so now that you know, we're

31:36
parents and old. Oh, I don't like the way that sounds, by the way. Now that we're parents and and still young, but you know, we get tired now. We're young, but we we know we were like, you start getting ready at like nine o'clock at night to go out. Yeah, we're in bed by then. That's the difference now. But that's OK. That's OK. We still party pretty hard. But it was like eight o'clock, I think, or something. Or maybe it was, you know, we'll just tell people it's like 11. Right. We went back at like eight o'clock, 11.

32:06
The point is, Laura, we were riding beach back each other back and forth and we were like, oh, we're going to let's go. We're going to go out. And I can't remember what you guys wrote us. Are you ready to go out? Shawn's ready. Yeah. And we responded to Laura and to this day, I don't know if we talked about it before, but you do you make candles. Yes. And she loves to make candles and she's got a little Etsy store and she makes amazing candles. And if she gets too busy, she's not going to.

32:35
able to keep doing them in her house because it's like a candle factory in here. But anyway, they're really cool. Long story short, the first candle I think you ever made. And do you have it? Can you read it? Stub, can't ducks, no walk, period, comma. I think he is.

32:53
That was a text. That was a text. So that's on a candle. Yeah. And what you meant by that was that he's ready to go, or how are we supposed to interpret that? I don't know. It's definitely Stu. I think he can't walk. Right? But I don't know what the ducks. Sure, maybe. Oh, maybe there's no fucking way he can walk.

33:12
I think he is, and I think I got cut off. It got cut off. I probably passed out. Not dead, not sleeping, but he is passed out, I think is how that should have ended. So we stayed in. That's the point of that story. That's everybody else, you know. But I have the candle as proof. And that was an early night. That wasn't the 2 a.m. I said to you, that was the eight o'clock 11. Yeah, I was just reminding everybody that wasn't the 2 a.m. when we were wandering getting food out of bathrooms. That was like. No.

33:41
I've never seen your husband that drunk. Nor yours. He was in a throne. Like, he was sitting like he was a king. This giant chair that you can't get in. You weren't supposed to sit in. Oh my god, that was funny. I don't remember he got that. He's like, I don't know what this means. Is he meeting me? Stuck in a duck's new walk? I think he is. I'm so sorry you had to translate that. I think you did finally realize it meant we were done. Yeah. We pieced that baby together. Yeah. So much.

34:12
But we didn't drink a toe or any body parts. We didn't drink any animals that had been living or dead. No. We didn't kill ourselves or anyone else. No, I think it was harmless fun. Good clean American fun. That's all I got about alcohol. How about you?

34:28
I think I need to be done. All right, I think we're just gonna go get a drink. Okay, fair enough. You know, gin only, because everything else makes me puke. All right, well, I do gin only, because I'm fun on gin, but everything else makes me sleep. Gin kori is hilarious. Hilarious. I learned so much about you when gin kori comes out. I know too much. That's great. I have a filter problem anyway, so yeah, you put something like that in me and then it's gone, completely gone. Wonderful. It's so not good. It's my favorite. Gets me into trouble. So on that note,

34:58
gin martini extra dirty. Yay. Couple olives. Sounds good. All right. Bye. Later crazy. You're the crazy one. Hey, before we go, wasn't there something you want to tell all the peoples?

35:12
Yeah, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our little podcast wherever you like to listen. We heard it's important. Super important. Yep, and where else can they find us, Laura? You know, I'm glad you asked. They can also find us on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram at My Crazy Friend Podcast. And if you have anything you wanna tell us, just email us at mycrazyfriendpodcast.gmail.com.

35:37
All that is accurate. So yeah. Until next time. Later.